The Discipline of a Father

April 18, 2024

Godly masculinity is becoming a lost art.  Or maybe it is more accurate to say that the principles of godly masculinity are being purposefully obscured by evil forces in our world. Society tells us that men should be weak.  Society says that men are incompetent, bumbling, and unaware.  Society tells us that any useful information a man may have to offer is not “helpful,” but rather “mansplaining.”    Society tells us that masculinity is “toxic.”  Of course, a man may come to have any one of these negative qualities, but I am speaking of those who are striving to be godly men and fathers.

The disparagement of godly masculinity is perhaps most damaging when it comes to fatherhood.  The world sees child raising as primarily the mother’s role.  Mothers have a tremendous role to play, but so do fathers!  God designed men and women to operate and to think differently, and both mother and father need to bring their strengths to the table. 

One of the God-given roles of fathers, in particular, is to bring discipline into the child’s life.  As we read in Ephesians chapter six, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4 NASB95) To discipline a child is to provide guidance in responsible living.  To instruct a child is to warn them about and discourage improper behavior.  In other words, children need to be trained in the right way and warned about the wrong way.  This can be done through conversation, through appropriate punishment, and through modeling godly behavior for our children.  All of this should be done in a way that does not provoke our children to anger, but rather in a way that encourages them and builds them up (even if it creates sorrow for a time).

What kinds of things can we train and warn our children about?  Fathers, do you have a running list of things that you want to teach your children?  Things like:  Always tell the truth; never compromise what is right; treat your mother with respect; do your work heartily for the Lord without whining or complaining; respect your elders; be generous; be busy for the Lord; always prioritize worship, bible study, and prayer.  What things are on your “need to know” list?  What are you instilling in your children?

Fathers, the Lord expects us to provide discipline and instruction for our children.  Don’t let the world cow you into letting your children run headlong into an unrestrained, undisciplined life!  Do it because you love them. Do it because you are following the example of our heavenly Father who disciplines us out of love.  “For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and He scourges every son whom he receives.  It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline?” (Hebrews 12:6-7 NASB95)

—Scott Colvin


Preparing Our Children for War

July 14, 2023

When should you allow children to be exposed to evil in this world? I have had several conversations over the years with parents about this question. We all know that it is not a question of if they will be exposed to evil, but how much exposure should parents allow, and at what age? How old should your children be before you let them have a smart phone? Allow them to be on social media? Watch the news?

Good Christian parents will have differences of opinion on this topic, and perhaps there is no one-size-fits-all answer. One thing is certain, there is a spiritual battle going on for the souls of our children. We must prepare them. We must be on a wartime footing, spiritually speaking, and must be training our children to survive the battle. As we read in Ephesians chapter 6, “Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” (Ephesians 6:11-12 NAS95) This warfare imagery is very instructive. Think of it this way: If a war was raging in this country, would you hand your little one a gun and a helmet, wish them luck, and send them off into battle? No! They are too young and inexperienced. They would most certainly lose their life. But what about spiritual warfare, where the stakes are much higher? Are you preparing your children to fight the battle?

It seems to me that we prepare our children in stages over time. When they are young and innocent, we must protect them and carefully shield their minds and hearts. They are not ready to fight and would be swallowed up in a minute. As they grow older, we must step up the preparation and training. We must show them how to put on the armor of God while still carefully protecting them from danger. One day, when the war shows up at our front door, we must face the battle with our children. They are still very vulnerable and inexperienced. They are like a private just out of basic training, but you are like a battle-hardened sergeant. You will keep them close to your side, pointing out the dangers, showing where the enemy lies in wait, and watching their flank.

It is critical that we all realize this battle is real and ongoing. When parents don’t realize this fact, they can throw their kids right into the war without any defenses. There are grave spiritual dangers on the internet, social media, television, and all around us. May God help us and give us the wisdom to prepare our kids for battle.

—Scott Colvin