The Discipline of a Father

April 18, 2024

Godly masculinity is becoming a lost art.  Or maybe it is more accurate to say that the principles of godly masculinity are being purposefully obscured by evil forces in our world. Society tells us that men should be weak.  Society says that men are incompetent, bumbling, and unaware.  Society tells us that any useful information a man may have to offer is not “helpful,” but rather “mansplaining.”    Society tells us that masculinity is “toxic.”  Of course, a man may come to have any one of these negative qualities, but I am speaking of those who are striving to be godly men and fathers.

The disparagement of godly masculinity is perhaps most damaging when it comes to fatherhood.  The world sees child raising as primarily the mother’s role.  Mothers have a tremendous role to play, but so do fathers!  God designed men and women to operate and to think differently, and both mother and father need to bring their strengths to the table. 

One of the God-given roles of fathers, in particular, is to bring discipline into the child’s life.  As we read in Ephesians chapter six, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4 NASB95) To discipline a child is to provide guidance in responsible living.  To instruct a child is to warn them about and discourage improper behavior.  In other words, children need to be trained in the right way and warned about the wrong way.  This can be done through conversation, through appropriate punishment, and through modeling godly behavior for our children.  All of this should be done in a way that does not provoke our children to anger, but rather in a way that encourages them and builds them up (even if it creates sorrow for a time).

What kinds of things can we train and warn our children about?  Fathers, do you have a running list of things that you want to teach your children?  Things like:  Always tell the truth; never compromise what is right; treat your mother with respect; do your work heartily for the Lord without whining or complaining; respect your elders; be generous; be busy for the Lord; always prioritize worship, bible study, and prayer.  What things are on your “need to know” list?  What are you instilling in your children?

Fathers, the Lord expects us to provide discipline and instruction for our children.  Don’t let the world cow you into letting your children run headlong into an unrestrained, undisciplined life!  Do it because you love them. Do it because you are following the example of our heavenly Father who disciplines us out of love.  “For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and He scourges every son whom he receives.  It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline?” (Hebrews 12:6-7 NASB95)

—Scott Colvin


Bringing Up Children in the Lord

September 11, 2022

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4 NASB 1995) Fathers, what are we doing to bring up our children in the Lord? We have a solemn responsibility placed before us, and if we neglect our duty, the sad truth is that our children will likely not remain faithful to God when they grow up. There are many who have deep regrets that they did not place nearly enough emphasis on the spiritual education of their children when they were young. Now their children have drifted away, and their souls are in grave danger. Don’t let that be you! Let it not be said of us that we didn’t give our all to bring up our children in Him!

What is the discipline of the Lord? It is education and training in the ways of God. It is not merely correcting and reproving our children when they do something wrong—although that would be included—but it is teaching and showing them who the Lord is and what He expects from us. Fathers, you have a charge from the Lord to provide education and training that places Jesus Christ at the very center of your children’s lives.

What is the instruction of the Lord? It is counsel and warning about stopping or avoiding improper behavior. Children can easily get on the wrong track in life. Fathers it is your role to steer them back onto the narrow path of righteousness.

Are you providing for your children’s spiritual education? Are you training them in the ways of the Lord? We place a lot of emphasis on our children’s secular education—learning to read, write, do math, etc. As fathers, we place a lot of emphasis on teaching our children how to do household chores, or throw a football, or cast a fishing line. But are we neglecting the far more important things? The eternal things? What are we doing to teach our children to pray, to worship, to serve others, to love God and His word? What are we teaching and modeling with our example? Do our children see our love for God and His church in us? Do we make spiritual things a priority in our families, or do much lesser things take precedence? Our children certainly see what is important to us and it teaches them volumes.

Fathers, the souls of your children are in your hand! This goes for mothers, too. Let us not neglect our duty as parents. Let us not look back with regret. Our number one priority as parents should be to lead our children to the Lord! May God wake us up and help us in this all-important endeavor.

— Scott Colvin