Do It In the Right Order!

Two women who didn’t know one another began to converse as a way of passing the time. The conversation began to narrow down to the one woman’s son and the other woman’s daughter. Both children faced the same problem. Each had a sex partner although they were not married. Pregnancy had come to both couples, and difficult questions came to the two couples with the pregnancy. Did the couple have what it takes for a long-term commitment? Did they have what it takes to raise a child?

Neither couple was certain that they had what it takes for a long- term commitment and child rearing. The woman with the son wondered whether she would have a grandchild that she rarely if ever would see. The woman with the daughter confided that her daughter and the father of her child were seeing a counselor, but they admitted that it was difficult.

Society has advocated moral relativism — no moral absolutes, and certainly no moral rules about sexuality. It has promoted certain lies. Sex has no consequences. You should start to have sex when you are emotionally ready for it, but only you know when that is. And our sexuality is not something we can control.

God’s plan is different. It recognizes that sex does have consequences. The proper place for sex is in marriage (Hebrews 13:4), so Christians are taught that they can control lust and sexual behavior (Matthew 5:27-30, 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8).

Waiting for sex means that you can develop job skills to support yourself and a family. Developing job skills might include college, apprenticeships, and trade schools. You find someone to marry. With marriage we ask the hard questions first of whether this is someone I could have a long-term relationship with or can I imagine raising a child with this person. These are deeper questions that whether I find them sexually attractive or fun on a date.

Marriage has the birth of children within view. The announcement of a pregnancy is usually a source of joy and not a crisis as to whether this relationship will continue.

God’s way has an order to it: job skills, marriage, sexuality, and if blessed with them, children. You are less likely to end up in poverty if you do it in this order. Your life is likely to have greater stability. But most important of all, it honors God when you do it in the right order.

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