Why do people quarrel and fight? Why is it that husbands and wives sometimes can’t seem to get along? Why is there sometimes serious conflict between brothers and sisters in the Lord? James gives us a deep insight into this in the opening verses of James chapter 4. “What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members?” (James 4:1 NASB95)
The root cause of it all is this: our pleasures. In short, when someone wants what they want but doesn’t get it, conflict arises within, and that conflict will often manifest itself in quarreling and strife.
And it’s not only evil pleasures that are in view here. Certainly those would be included, but it could be any kind of self-seeking desire. I’m sure we’ve seen this play out many times in our own lives. For example, say that someone wants some time for themselves, or some time to engage in a hobby they enjoy. There’s nothing inherently wrong with those desires. But what happens if things don’t turn out as planned? The unfulfilled desires for personal pleasure can easily lead to anger, impatience, and rudeness toward others. As another example, someone may want their good idea to be heard in the church, to feel respected, or to be recognized by others. But if these things don’t happen, they may become bitter and take a bad attitude toward their brethren. Quarreling and fighting can easily ensue. All because of pleasures waging war within us. Interpersonal conflict arises from a self-centered desire to please ourselves.
So if pleasure is the source of conflict, what is the source of peace and harmony? It is to take on the attitude of Christ—to do nothing out of selfishness, to regard others as more important than ourselves, and to not merely look out for our own interests, but also for the interests of others (Philippians 2:3-5). Striving to have the mind of Christ will always lead to peace between husbands and wives, peace in our families, and peace in the church. May God help us to have the attitude of our Lord.
—Scott Colvin
