A Mother’s Instructions

May 8, 2020

A mother’s instructions are important. Proverbs speaks of that importance.

Hear, my son, your father’s instruction,
and forsake not your mother’s teaching,
for they are a graceful garland for your head
and pendants for your neck.
(Proverbs 1:8–9 ESV)

My son, keep your father’s commandment,
and forsake not your mother’s teaching.
Bind them on your heart always;
tie them around your neck.
(Proverbs 6:20–21 ESV)

Every seven years at the Feast of Tabernacles the law was to be read to all Israel including the men, the women, the little ones, and the sojourners (see Deuteronomy 31:10-13). Mothers in Israel were to know moral and spiritual things just like the fathers. Mother’s instructions were important, and so it should also be with Christian mothers.

A child’s moral foundation is formed by the age of nine. Their outlook on truth, integrity, meaning, justice, and morality are formed early in life. Not much can change this outlook except the power of the gospel, so mothers have an important role by their instruction to form this moral foundation. The famous quote from Francis Xavier speaks to the persistence of this early moral training, “Give me the children until they are seven and anyone may have them afterwards.”

Batsell Barrett Baxter was a well know preacher among us over 40 years ago. He was also the chairman of the Bible Department at David Lipscomb when I was a student. I had him as a professor and as my course advisor. In his biography, *Every Life a Plan of God,* he speaks fondly of his mother. She read or taught him Bible stories as a child, and that teaching influenced the course of his life. Mothers have an important role in teaching the Bible.

Children are fact absorbers. They memorize easily. They remember the stories we tell them, especially the stories we repeatedly tell them, and the good news is they like stories repeated. Childhood is a time we can teach them lots of information about the Bible. A child’s mind thinks concretely. Concrete thinking is very fact oriented and literal.

Abstract thinking in children usually begins between the preteen to mid-teen years. Abstract thinking sees the significance of ideas and not just the facts. It understands concepts and figurative language (of which there is an abundance in the Bible). All the facts we have taught our children will be processed as they begin to mature mentally and engage in abstract thinking.

Mothers are also on the frontline of manners. This may not be as important as moral and spiritual instruction, but I’m certainly grateful for that instruction too. We are likely to hear mothers saying, “Sit up straight.” “Use your fork not your hands.” “Chew with your mouth closed.” “Say please.” “Apologize to your sister.” “Say thank you.” It is because of this persistent instruction that we are not barbarians when released upon the world as adults.

Mothers are important, and at least one of the reasons for their importance is their instruction in morals, scripture, and manners. I for one am thankful for my mother’s instructions.

— Russ Holden

 

 


Please, Thank You, and Excuse Me

September 6, 2019

Are good manners a part of Christian living? I would be the first one to admit that the words in my title are cultural expressions. But behind these cultural expressions are Christian virtues: kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control (see the Fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23), and gratitude (Luke 17:15-17). Although I see a great deal of courtesy in my own community, it seems in the wider world we see a growing rudeness and hair trigger anger.

Manners do not come as standard operating equipment on children. My parents had to teach them to me. My Great Aunt Mabel made it a point to teach me manners when she could. I’m certain I didn’t always appreciate her lessons as a child, but I can look back with gratitude. One of her lessons was that I was to stand when an adult entered the room in order to greet them. It was years later that I found there was actually a biblical basis for this one: “You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God: I am the LORD” (Leviticus 19:32, ESV). I still feel awkward if I’m not in a position to stand when greeting someone. Parents are civilizing the next generation. Being civilized has nothing to do with the time or country of origin of your birth. It has to do with what you are taught and trained to do.

In the past year, I’ve been hospitalized for 45 days on three occasions and in rehab for 8 days. For much of that time, I wasn’t allowed out of the bed or chair without assistance. I’ve had a lot of dealings with nurses and nursing techs, and I practiced manners and kindness. I realized I wasn’t the only person on the floor, and that pushing the call button might not get an instant response. I tried to plan ahead so that my calls were not urgent. I was cooperative and considerate. I treated them as the medical professionals they are. And do you know what? I was treated with kindness and consideration in return. I was not motivated by that, but we do reap what we sow. (Obviously, there will be exceptions where you will be treated rudely in return, but I think at this time, it will be the exception and not the rule.) I had one nurse say to me: “I had a really bad day yesterday. I’m so glad to have you as a patient today.” And they knew that the way I treated people was because I am a Christian.

In an increasing rude world, good manners motivated by Christian virtues will stand out and be noticed. It will make life more pleasant, and it will make you more pleasant to be around. The “magic words” as some parents call them are still valid: please, thank you, and excuse me.

— Russ Holden